i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize