therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
