Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
