Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
