Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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