Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
