wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
