I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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