is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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