i wish peter jackson would direct porn
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
