Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
God I need to hump something, right now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
