this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
