Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
