last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my shit smells like andre
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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