The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
