We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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