if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I supernannyed him into submission
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize