your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
