I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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