Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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