She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
