my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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