plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
