She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
