well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
