How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
