I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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