I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
