my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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