My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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