VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
