their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was CRYING into my vagina
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize