this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
