So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize