I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
