As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
