People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
