Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
