Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
