Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she peed on how many people?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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