it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
