hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
