one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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