there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
