One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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