morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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