New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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