I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What a dumb baby whore.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
