We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
