About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
