it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize