kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I pour the whiskey from now on
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
