So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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