just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize