let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
