Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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