It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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