I'm so fucking centered right now
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
