that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
