just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
